To my ex

u know, I cannot hide myself in front of you... u always know my thoguhts and what actions that I will take in diff situation... I dont think I can find someone else like u to understand me so well...

when I saw yr blog, I know u did want me to treat u as a friend and share my stuffs to u.... I dont know if I really can.... but sharing all things happening to me is what I can do now.. (even u might be no chances to read it):

- I have tumors... yea..knowing it on the time that I separated with u and still have those "friends" inside my body..

- I am baptized on 2006;

- I did change few jobs and became a jobless few months…. Btw.. I did teach a computer class in cuhk extension;

- I am relocated back to Sh, yes. SH again...

- As u hv known, I get married but u might not know that I saw yr marriage news and pics from the amazing internet.

- I treassure u and yr family as a part of my family, glad to see their face from yr wedding pics and healthy... but bad to hear your ee news, will pray to God and hope she is happy in heaven;

- I dont know the purpose from God on letting me to see yr blog.. but I hope to see yr blog and know what happen to u in future..

To me, the meaning of friends is not seeing each others all the time, but I always treat u as my 死黨 no matter what happened... do u remember the time that we walked with an umbrella in a rainy day? ... sigh...

If you need me or would like to find someone on sharing yr thoughts, I'll be there...

My Love...

It's been almost 3 yrs that I separated with the one that I love the most...

I still remember that day clearly... she called me from her office after sending me an email to breakup with me, then cried... Her crying and the painful that I had are still in my heart... In the time that I lost her, i couldnt control myself... I did lose >20 lbs in less than 2 weeks, did not eat/ sleep 3-4 days in a row and, the worst, did even think of suicide...

The sadness thinking made me collapsed and could not stop on thinking of her. Last, I decided to leave LA and went to SH which was her current living place. I know it's the most stupid idea on doing it especially I know she had a bf same time when she decided to separate with me...

Today, I dont know how I found your blog and read all of your thoughts starting from 3 yrs ago.. I am glad to hear everything about you even the news about yr marriage cos I know u will find the true joyful that I cant give u (esp when I see your pics).

You know, the biggest reason that I decided to stay in LA is not becos I couldn’t get rid of my connection in town but it’s becos of the nightmare GC application. After I proposed to you under Great wall, I didn’t even have enough money to raise a wedding for us; thus, I decided to stuck in LA for another year on making more money before I go back HK but everything is too late...

I pray to God all the time and hope you to have the happiest life that I wouldnt give u.. Thanks God to listen my pray.

I am not dare enough to call/ email you about my wishes but I really hope you can have the best ever life... no sleepless.. no saddness.. around u.

Yr smile, yr tears, yr 包包面, yr love - eggs rice with some soy sauces, our first met in the plane, our lives in LA, our trips and even yr anger/ sleepless at nite etc are always in my heart.

I still don’t know how to answer.. what I can do if I cant be with the one that I love… suicide? Giving up myself? Fighting her back? Don’t know…. What I do is to keep my best wishes to you in my heart and have all of our memory being with me.

P.S. I only can call you ex now but, in deep, u are always in my heart and I cant forget u in the rest of my life... I love you

Untitled

I dont know why I have an idea to write a blog.. I dont even write a page of dairy b4.

maybe I would not find any listeners to hear my bs or I dont have any guts to tell my inner thought to others...

just wanna send these letters out without any recipients..