My Love...

It's been almost 3 yrs that I separated with the one that I love the most...

I still remember that day clearly... she called me from her office after sending me an email to breakup with me, then cried... Her crying and the painful that I had are still in my heart... In the time that I lost her, i couldnt control myself... I did lose >20 lbs in less than 2 weeks, did not eat/ sleep 3-4 days in a row and, the worst, did even think of suicide...

The sadness thinking made me collapsed and could not stop on thinking of her. Last, I decided to leave LA and went to SH which was her current living place. I know it's the most stupid idea on doing it especially I know she had a bf same time when she decided to separate with me...

Today, I dont know how I found your blog and read all of your thoughts starting from 3 yrs ago.. I am glad to hear everything about you even the news about yr marriage cos I know u will find the true joyful that I cant give u (esp when I see your pics).

You know, the biggest reason that I decided to stay in LA is not becos I couldn’t get rid of my connection in town but it’s becos of the nightmare GC application. After I proposed to you under Great wall, I didn’t even have enough money to raise a wedding for us; thus, I decided to stuck in LA for another year on making more money before I go back HK but everything is too late...

I pray to God all the time and hope you to have the happiest life that I wouldnt give u.. Thanks God to listen my pray.

I am not dare enough to call/ email you about my wishes but I really hope you can have the best ever life... no sleepless.. no saddness.. around u.

Yr smile, yr tears, yr 包包面, yr love - eggs rice with some soy sauces, our first met in the plane, our lives in LA, our trips and even yr anger/ sleepless at nite etc are always in my heart.

I still don’t know how to answer.. what I can do if I cant be with the one that I love… suicide? Giving up myself? Fighting her back? Don’t know…. What I do is to keep my best wishes to you in my heart and have all of our memory being with me.

P.S. I only can call you ex now but, in deep, u are always in my heart and I cant forget u in the rest of my life... I love you